It has been a while 13 October, 2009
Posted by The Dreamer in dreams, grateful, happiness, Hilton College, lost, low, the boys, the secret.add a comment
“Men often become what they believe themselves to be. If I believe I cannot do something, it makes me incapable of doing it. But when I believe I can, then I acquire the ability to do it even if I didn’t have it in the beginning.” – Ghandi
What a eventful last 7 months!
- No work!
- One of my big dreams shattered!
- Almost losing my house, because I had not paid rent for 6 months!
- Almost dieing because I don’t have health care!
- and my ex is on cocaine!
I’ve been through hell the last 7 months, that is if you looking in from the outside! In truth I had one or two rough days, but generally it was been great. Somethings genuinely can’t be measure, like having my boys 80% of the time the last 7 months, they kept me alive, they kept me dreaming, they made me smile everyday!
Things have turned and some have changed but the ultimate goal of my boys happiness is still on track, because some times its not about money, good schools or anything other than spending quality time with your children. I will always be grateful for my boys, they give me the courage to stand up ever morning and be greatful and dream 
The goals over the short term is:
- Make a successful business using Google Apps
- Create a social network for schools
- Create a Labor Consultant business
- Create a online Adult Dating site
- Get Miguel back into Hilton!
If you don’t dream, you will not succeed…
What a day!!! 8 August, 2007
Posted by The Dreamer in anger, lost, low.add a comment
Yesterday was a killer, I had the great joys of discovering that my ex has a thing for three guys, I am on the list at least, what a relieve! 
The second guy, was no surprise, but the third one was a shocker. You see I used to think that he was a patient, however he is not, he is another ex-boyfriend from school days. 12yrs of marriage & I never hear her mention him once!
Reality has kick in again and a couple of calls to the lawyer later I was back on track again. My biggest question to ex is why she had to hide all of this, she never spoke of Gareth before, am I some sort of monster that she couldn’t ever talk to? I don’t know, but I believe that my ex had a mental affair with one, or both of these guys.
You might ask why? Simple why hide something so badly from your partner for 12yrs, unless you feel guilty. Why get defensive about it when asked? I have never been the jealous type, the only time I started ask questions was when she became secretive. She could have had the decency to tell me, she is love with someone else at least! I would have walked away without a problem. The lying that my ex does has brought me to the point that my love & respect for her fades away. I have to ask myself one question, what makes her so special?
The second part to this terrific day of mine, was the access to the boys. I get told from the start how I will always have access to the boys, now this has become a bit of a joke. I hope my ex can stop using the boys, she needs to ask herself, who is she protecting the boys or herself? The reality of a divorce is loneliness, you can’t use the kids to fill that void! You will regret this in the long run! The boys need there space and you need to face up to your own reality in life, don’t smother them!
Then lastly, I suppose all things happen in threes! I need to leave you with this thought, why get defensive about something that is supposedly innocent & you have done nothing wrong? Anyway I am not holding my breath that she would reply & if she does that she would reply honestly. You see I have used this blog to pore my heart out to her, which she enjoyed, I don’t know why, is it because she wants to use this against me at a later stage? Who cares, I have always been honest about my outlook on things, I don’t hold my punches, I say it as it is! I remember the days when we used to do that, but now is now! Well I hope that her best friends can be there for her when she needs help, especially seeing that they are more important in her life than what I used to be…
